Introduction

Two years ago, in 2016, God told me that I was being called to a long fast. He told me it would be over lent. I thought at first it was going to be lent of 2017, I was pregnant however, and I felt Him say, “next year Ehrica, get ready.” So I continued to practice fasting. When lent 2018 was approaching I kept feeling called to do the 40 day fast. A friend of mine asked why I had to do it over lent, but I didn't know, I just knew that’s when God was telling me to do it.

God is always giving me the number 44. I looked up the 44th day of the year and it was February 13, 2018, the day before lent started. This was confirmation that Jesus wanted me to start the day before lent. Time went on and I felt being called to do a 44 day fast instead of a 40 day fast. I looked up 44 days after February 13, it was March 28th. This would have been the day before Passover, my first meal after 44 days would be on the same day that Jesus had his last. This was among one of the many confirmations He had given me that my fast was to be for 44 days, and to start the 44th day of the year.

I was scared at first, but I was only scared after researching what happens when you don’t eat. That was the world putting fear in me. I was also afraid because I was going to be competing in my 2nd NPC Bikini Competition [I'll explain how I was wrapped up in that in another blog post]. I was afraid I wouldn’t gain the muscle I needed, I wouldn’t have the energy I needed to work out the three hours a day to be prepared for the competition, and I was afraid I wouldn’t have the vitamins and minerals I needed to be sustained. That was the Devil letting what science and society says put fear in me. But we have not been given a Spirit of fear - but of power, love, and self-control. God will never allow you to fail at something He has called you to. God will never abandon His starving children, and God will never leave your side.

According to Science not only should I be dead, but I should be malnourished, my organs should be failing, I shouldn’t have menstruated, my blood pressure should have been very low, and many other things should have happened to me for not eating for 44 days. I only told close friends and family members about my fast. No one thought I could do it and survive, or that I would actually follow through with it. My friend Lacey is the only one that had 100% confidence in me that I was going to do it and that Jesus was going to sustain me. I was rejected and rejected. I got tired of hearing I needed to consult a doctor about it. Jesus didn’t consult a doctor - God told Him to fast for 40 days, so he trusted God. He didn’t need anyone’s approval and neither did I. My mother was very concerned. She thought I was doing the fast to look good for the competition. When in fact, I had thought about moving the fast because I was afraid I wouldn’t look good for the competition and that I would not be sustained. But again, that was the devil putting fear in me to stop me from fulfilling God’s plan and bringing glory to God.

The Devil will do many things to stop glory from being given to the Lord. I realized that I was going to complete the fast when Jesus told me this was for His glory. God was testing me, I wasn’t testing him. When our faith is strong we know not to test God. We know he’s testing us because He can do anything. He never leaves his children hungry, and he will complete all the good work in us that He plans to do. So why be afraid of something He calls us to? True love casts out all fear. However, after three weeks of hearing about my mother crying herself to sleep and others telling me to see a physician, I went to the doctor. The nurse said my blood pressure was “ Awesome”! When I told the doctor about the fast, she said she didn’t think I should be doing it, and she didn’t believe God called me to the fast. I asked her if she was a Christian and she said she was. I told her God did call me to it and that I was going to complete it. She drew my blood work because she was concerned. My blood work came back fine. Why did it? Because Jesus was sustaining me! Jesus is Life! All you need is Jesus. I was, and am, so tired of people telling me I need so much water a day, I need to take these vitamins and supplements to look a certain way and be healthy. Well you know what?! All you need is Jesus. The Spartans didn’t have supplements and they were still pretty ripped hundreds of years ago. You know who says that you need all of these things? The world. The world needs consumerism. God didn’t call me to this fast to show my body off in a bikini, He called me to this fast to glorify Him by proving to the world all you need is Jesus. You don’t need 150-200 grams of protein a day or a whole bunch of supplements to be healthy and fit. God sustained me for 44 days. He gave me life. When I needed energy to do one more rep it wasn’t a carb that gave me energy. It was His Spirit! Anything is possible with Jesus.

When entering the fast , the longest I had previously fasted was a week, and during that week I still had tea and coffee. This fast, He told me only water. I soon realized that it was because if I were to have tea or coffee I would use it as a crutch. I wouldn’t truly be leaning and relying on God for strength, energy, nourishment, nutrition, and support. The first two days were the worst. Your body learns to use its fat supply and you feel tired and hungry. The third day is when my taste buds started to change. Instead of going to food for comfort I went to Jesus. I started to look at food as just an object, and the Word was what gave me life. Every time I was tired, hungry, or weak I would read the word, worship, and pray. My hunger went away and I could feel God filling me up. The joy that He was filling me up with gave me a greater peace and fulfillment than food ever could. I felt as if God was wrapping His arms around me and surrounding me with a comfort that I can’t explain. Each day I needed Jesus more and more and the world less and less. I started to realize the world sucked the life out of me and that Jesus was the only thing that could give me life. Every time I watched a video, TV, shopped online, or even went on Pinterest, I noticed negative effects to my Spirit and I felt very tired afterwards. More tired than I would feel after a workout because during that workout I would be listening to worship music praising Jesus, praying to Him asking for strength, or listening to the Word. Most of the time I felt a high that can only come from the Lord, it is the presence and Love we as Christians want everyone to feel and why we love spreading His Word to others. However there were some bad days, and that is because my eyes were fixed on the world and not on Jesus. If I found myself looking at food I would get so hungry and want food, but if I kept my eyes on Jesus I had no desire for food because I knew He was the only thing that could fill me and that His food for me would be far more fulfilling.

I learned that I had to walk in the spirit and remain obedient because if I didn’t walk with Jesus I would not be filled and left hungry. I was never left hungry though. Because Jesus was with me, and He will never leave me. During these 44 days I worked out for 3 hours a day. Many people repeat the verse “I can do all things through him who strengthens me”, but when fasting it has a whole new meaning. He literally is your strength. Not food, not water, but His Spirit. As I said earlier everything worldly thing drains your spirit and that only He gives you life. Again, JESUS IS LIFE! Everything else sucks you dry. TV, social media, drama, etc. I deleted it all. Social media made me sick, TV sucked my energy out, and Pinterest made me want all the food. Why?! Because it is all worldly. When we are of Him we are not of the world but His Spirit. God has called us out of the world so that we can pick up our cross and follow Jesus in the hopes of having eternal life with Jesus in Heaven.

By deleting social media he made me not want to post anything because He humbled me and everything seemed vain. He also showed me how much vanity was in me I didn’t even know existed. You can’t build up your own image and God’s at the same time. Many people like to say “glory be to God”, but if it’s a picture of you half naked looking super muscular where is the glory in that? That’s just using God as an excuse to promote your own image.

1 Timothy 4:8 “for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.”

This is not to be taken out of context. Bodily training is of some value and godliness is of value in every way. Part of being modest is being humble. God taught me so much about modesty during this fast and I needed it. I was not the modest person God wants me to be, but I am recognizing that and may God continue to convict me of becoming the godly and modest person He wants me to be. 1 Timothy 2:9 elaborates on this by providing, “likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.” Moreover, this is one of the many verses in the Word of God that tells women to be modest. I don’t think I need to go into detail of the word modesty but It certainly doesn’t imply that we should be half naked on a stage to show people the muscles we developed, flaunt our body with posing, and flatter our stage appearance in a fancy suit, makeup and jewelry. This is promoting your own image, and God has convicted me and opened my eyes up to the sin I was in. I’m done modeling, I’m done competing, and I’m done promoting my own image. May this testimony bring glory to God and may everyone know that I have shown that all you need is Jesus. I can’t stand to promote my own image any longer. Love and the Outcome hit home by elaborating on this in their song “If I don’t have you”. Their lyrics

“[Verse 1] How can I build Your kingdom, if I'm building my own? How can You be my treasure, if I'm digging for gold? How can You be my fire, if my heart has grown cold? How can You be my future, if I've made this my home? How can I? How can I? [Chorus] I don't want the world, if I don't have You I don't want it all, if it means I lose You I've tasted and I've seen enough To know it's You I need I don't want the world, if I don't have You If I don't have You [Verse 2] How can I say I need You and live on my own? How can I say I want You and never come close? How can I say I surrender and never let go? How can I say "I love You," to someone I don't know? How can I? How can I? [Chorus] I don't want the world, if I don't have You I don't want it all, if it means I lose You I've tasted and I've seen enough To know it's You I need I don't want the world, if I don't have You”

You can’t build your own image and God’s. It’s one or the other. We are to give up our lives for Him. We are to surrender. We are to let go. This is me letting go. I earned a spot at nationals by getting 2nd place and I’m not going. Would God want me to spend 1000$ on going to a competition to be half naked on stage or would he want me to use it for His glory? The answer is His glory. The NPC is a money pit and money is dirty, literally dirty. I’ll elaborate more on that in another blog. But again, God would not ask a woman to get half naked to earn a trophy, get more likes and followers, or even promote their own name and become successful. You see the Bible goes against this. We are to be modest women. That doesn’t mean we can’t be healthy, but when we promote our own image we take away from his glory. We are promoting our own glory and using him as a con so that we don’t have to feel bad about it. Did god help you? I’m sure because he doesn’t abandon his children. Does he want us spending 1,000-2,000$ so we can earn a trophy and promote ourselves? No! He wants us to give our life up, pick up our cross and follow him. Whoever loves his life must lose it and whoever hates his life will keep it. When we love Jesus we give up our lives just as he did for us because we love him. God was my rock and He is my rock. You don’t need vitamins, supplements to be strong and muscular. You just need Jesus and you don’t need to get up on stage and be half naked to show people. Instead be healthy.

Fast when he tells you to, eat what he tells you to, and remember too much of anything is toxic. Weather it’s food, social media, etc...it’s an idol. Jesus is to be our only idol. If you’re seeking other things more than him, it’s an idol. If you’re worrying ,it’s an idol. Because when we trust Jesus , he has our back! He’s thought of everything we haven’t and it’s up to us to trust him. Let your faith move mountains. You don’t have to prove anything to the world . It’s Jesus you have to answer to on judgment day. We can’t be half hearted lukewarm Christians. We must be all in or God will spit us out of His mouth.

Again, this isn’t a post about me, or how much I’ve accomplished, or all the hard work and dedication I put in. This isn’t a post about my progress or getting stronger . This post is about glorifying Jesus. Because I didn’t do any of the work, I just followed Jesus. He gave me the strength. He pulled me up when my knees felt weak and when I could barley lift up my head. He sustained me. He sculpted me. He nourished me with his Spirit which is greater than food. I didn’t eat for 44 days. I only drank water besides my celebratory blue moon and glass of wine with my two best friends who drove 2.5 hours to come to my show. Jesus said it was okay, but he told me to wait for food and I really wanted pizza, but the glory of the Lord was a greater joy.

You see all you need is Jesus and that’s what this post is about, all glory to God. Furthermore, people often say milkshakes and pizza are life. I’ve said it. But the truth is Jesus is life! He gave me life, the world will only suck the life out of you. After pizza a milkshakes how do you feel? You feel tired. After an hour with Jesus how to you feel? High on life and to me this is what this trophy represents- Jesus, giving me life. If Jesus wasn’t sustaining me I would be dead. My organs would have failed. You would see my bones but instead you see muscle. He was my food, He was the air I breathe, the provider of my needs and the song I sing! Follow Jesus because he is the joy that triumphs over fear and the laughter that wipes away all tears. Pick up your cross and follow Jesus, leave what will turn to dust to the world, for it will someday also turn to dust.

Today is March 29th, 2018. I prayed that at the end of the fast I wouldn’t want food. God answered my prayer. His joy, love, and presence is still greater than food. My reaction is to still turn to Jesus when I am hungry and He continues to fill me up. Food is now food and Jesus is what brings me joy. May everyone find joy in Jesus Christ.